Celtic's Latest Signing Target?

[Sheik Yir Erse]

So Celtic are interested in Rod Fanni from Nice. On the basis that they have another centre back called Balde - that would make the combination of those two on the team sheet ...... well ......... almost pornographic.

On a related note back in the dark old days of John Barnes (and I'm not referring to his skin tone) he was actually interested in buying David Weir from Hearts. Think someone pointed out that the centre half pairing would then have read Weir Tebily Scheit

[Hadrians hiring!]

On same vien,

didnt Newcastle about 15 years ago have a teamsheet that read ''Kelly, Lee, Brock'' ?

[Sheik Yir Erse]

HH on another related note to Newcastle! When Newcastle Polytechnic went through their "we want to be a University" phase in the early 90's, there was a shortlist of new names to be chosen. The preferred name was City University of Newcastle-upon-Tyne, this was until and Admin assistant handily realised it wouldn't have made for a very nice abbreviation. They eventually settled on Northumbria University

Incidentally did Lennon and McCartney (Neil and George) not play for Northern Ireland together ??

[MacDuff]

I think you may be right Sheik.

And back in the 70's I think Peters and Lee (Martin & Frannie) may have played together for England.

[Hume]

Back in the mid 90s the Dons often has an attack of Glass Windass

Not so long ago our certral defensive pairing was Anderson McGuire (Funeral Directors)

Now unfortuantely any defensive problems can be put down to a bad case of Hart Byrne

[Duke o' Ralston]

So Celtic are interested in Rod Fanni from Nice. On the basis that they have another centre back called Balde - that would make the combination of those two on the team sheet ...... well ......... almost pornographic.

On a related note back in the dark old days of John Barnes (and I'm not referring to his skin tone) he was actually interested in buying David Weir from Hearts. Think someone pointed out that the centre half pairing would then have read Weir Tebily Scheit

Since when does 3 become a pairing Stalker ya galloot!

[Sheik Yir Erse]

It's a fair cop Duke, guilty as charged.

In mitigation I seem to recall trying to phone the notable english grammar Professor Erchie MacFudd at Cambridge University just before I hit 'Submit' that night. He normally checks my spelling, punctuation and my inappropriate use of the past participle when using conjective pro-nouns. Unfortunately the old boy was out that night getting his Nathaniel King Cole. So I had to submit it unchecked - I knew it was only a matter of time before someone spotted it.

I'm mortally embarrased by the entire episode, all I can say is "Can your penis touch your rectum?" Aye? Well, you know what to do then

[Duke o' Ralston]

You above anyone should have known that McFudd is only available between 03:31 and 03:39 on the 2nd Tuesday of the Pentacostle due to his love of Nathanial The Prof you should have contacted, as I'm sure you are aware by now, was The Right Learned Professor Erchiebald Peenkles of Peenkles of the clan Peenkles, North Drumlemanshire, Hootland.

Erchie Peenkles, to his close chums, would have prevented you from makin the twattastic blunder which you have proceeded to make, I only hope that time is the healer it is given credit for and your kin may avoid the embarrassment you so richly deserve.

Thanks for the advice re penis, couldn't make it touch but my neighbour obliged with his which has resulted in a very pleasant evenings bumfoolery, cheers big fla

[Sheik Yir Erse]

Thanks for the advice your Dukeness. I will contact the aforementioned Mr Peenkles in the future. To mitigate embarrassment on my family, my wife and daughter have left me and the Sheikdom, to convert to a life as Jesuit Nuns in in a small fishing village in the West Highlands. It was the only option available to them I'm afraid - Little Miss Sheik was getting bullied in the nursery as a result of my stupidity. The kids were singing songs like:

Your faither's an oil rich Sheik
But what a stupid mistake to make
He thought three was a pair
And posted without care
And now the you're off to live in Mallaig

Glad to hear you have such obliging neighbours, but I thought there's laws against that kind of thing, we Hector's only 12 you know! You'd have been better off with his faither, Big Hector?

...... and hey........ let's be careful out there