The local Southend haggis hunt (often abbreviated to the S'hag hunt) was established in 1611 by the Rev.Ivor Hardon,who lived in a cave at Keil. It still meets on the first Saturday of October, led by the horn-blowing Major Bearbus who signals the start once the drams have been downed and the all-important rain arrives, thus rendering the hunt legal.
Hunting the haggis is no easy matter. Central to the art is stealth; and for some peculiar reason the haggis is extremely sensitive and aware to the slightest sound of the plaid rubbing on underpants, which is why the modern-day haggiser never wears anything under his kilt. To disguise his odour he adopts a shambling gait and staggers from side to side which puts the haggis off his scent and enables him to surprise the beast and make it bolt from the heather.
It is well-known that haggis have odd-length legs, so that they can run round and round the sloping hillsides where they live.
And when they are pursued by the haggis-chasers, they run faster and faster until they become dizzy and lose their balance, making them tumble down the hillside, where the haggis-baggers are waiting to stun them using an old hickory-shafted golf club with a bag of oats tied to the end.