Please keep in mind that I didn't write this, it arrived in a mail, so don't all pack on me. Hope it raises a smile.....
Once a year there is a special "open season" in Scotland. Intrepid hunters don their hiking clothes, load their guns and head for the hills. Their quarry ? An elusive wee beastie called The Haggis.
This time of year, with Burn's Night being on the 25th the demand for these wee creatures is such that special permits are issued to all those with contacts in the right places, but poaching does take place.
The Haggis are intelligent wee creatures and tend to go into hiding around this time of year, so the Haggis Hunters take with them such helpers as ferrets who can sniff out a Haggis and burrow into Haggis holes in order to flush them out.
Once caught, unspeakable things are done to the Haggis and they are offered for sale with a fake plastic skin and very little dignity.
So, spare a thought for the tiny, timid Haggis as I will be doing so later, along with mashed potato, swede and carrots.