The Kintyre Forum

Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"


Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"

He also went to the vet and said,"My cat is ill".The vet asked,"Is it a Tom?"The chap replied,"No,I`ve bought it with me".

Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.


Police say the dangerous practice is called "e by gum"

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.

Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"

Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"

Yorkshireman: "No, I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"

You can always tell a Yorkshireman


But you can't tell him much!

He's a Yorkshire man, born and bred.
Strong int' arm but thick int' head.