The Kintyre Forum

Mother Superior calls all the nuns together and says to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of Syphilis in the convent." "Thank God," says an elderly nun at the back of the room, "I'm so tired of Chardonnay..."

Talking about nuns, let's see if I can get away with this one....

Two nuns in the bath. One says, "Where's the soap ?"
The other nun says,
"Yes it does, doesn't it ?".

I will not tell the one about the two nuns riding bicycles on a cobbled street.

Oh come on, tell it, it sounds interesting.
What's black and white and red all over ?
A peeled nun.

What goes black and white black and white black and white ?
A nun rolling down a hil.

I will end with the classic one, no more from me on this subject or else I can see me getting banned.

Daddy, daddy, why are there always two nuns and never just one ?
That's easy son, because one nun is there to saee that the other nun don't get none.

That's it, I'm done.

A lorry driver runs in to a pub and asks"How big is a penguin?"The barman replies,"About three feet tall".The driver says,"Sod it.I have just run over a nun!"

You know the joke too well Martin so stop goading me please!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Whilst living in Dublin we often flew on a small plane called a Fokker 50 to go back and forth on the 30 min journey to Glasgow. Any turbulence always caused alarm as the plane seemed to dip and sway most of the duration. On one such crossing my
husband was sitting next to a nun who was rattling aloud through her Rosary Beads with great gusto when the plane dropped quite dramatically. She grabbed his arm and wailed 'Jesus, Mary and Joseph will yer man ever get us off the fecking plane alive?'

Mint!

Glad you enjoyed it Walter.

Hmmm was about to say how you knew me - but checked back previous postings lol