No Offence Intended

[glassblower]

Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 37, who was looking for some hot action! So I sent her my ironing. That'll keep the lazy woman busy.

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak

Came home today to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone's Advent calendar...

A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, "Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part."

[Govangirl]

I actually laughed out loud at every single one of these. And Mr Govangirl is still chuckling at the third one!!!!!!

[glassblower]

Glad you liked them GG, will look out for some more, don't seem to have offended anyone yet !!!.

[gizmo]

We have a chemistry student working in our local pub. A man came in and asked for an h2o, he was served with no problem.
His mate wanted an h2o too, he died.




PS. I had to google it.

[EMDEE]

Not heard that one before Gizmo.

When it comes to chemical formulae, the one I remember is :

"Poor litttle John is dead and gone, his troubles are no more,
For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4."