Newspaper Headlines ( Actual or Fictional )

[Frosty]

Here are a few examples , could anyone come up with a few more ?

'' Police begin campaign to run down Jaywalkers ! ''

'' Juvenile court to try shooting defendant !''

'' War dims hope for peace !''

'' Red tape holds up bridge ! ''

Finally '' Local Grammar School dropouts cut in half !''

Frosty

[dgraves]

Great thread, Frosty. I've enjoyed newspaper editorial goofs for years:
Actual headings-

Alito to Senate: good judge has no agenda
Supreme court nominee....

Interesting stuff found around Uranus
Using the Hubble telescope, astronomers....

An ad:
An Honest Attorney
(but not enough to hurt your case)
Ruth Warner- attorney at law

[Frosty]

Nice ones Dorian.
There must be more out there, take_a_pop I thought you might be able to pull a few out of the bag ?
Frosty

[take_a_pop]

Here's a few, sum oh thim are quite guid.

Governor Swears in Legislature
March Planned For Next August
Blind Bishop Appointed To See
Lingerie Shipment Hijacked--Thief Gives Police The Slip
L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
Patient At Death's Door--Doctors Pull Him Through
Latin Course To Be Canceled--No Interest Among Students, Et Al.
Diaper Market Bottoms Out
Croupiers On Strike--Management: "No Big Deal"
Stadium Air Conditioning Fails--Fans Protest
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters
Connie Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies
Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based
Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Split Rears in Farmers Movement
Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden
Idaho Group Organizes to Help Service Widows
Columnist Gets Urologist in Trouble With His Peers
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
War Dims Hope For Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years
Man is Fatally Slain
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings of Isolation
Flaming Toilet Seat Causes Evacuation at High School
Defendants Speech Ends in Long Sentence
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
House Passes Gas Tax Onto Senate
Police Discover Crack in Australia
Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan
Many Antiques Seen at D.A.R. Meeting
William Kelly, 87, was Fed Secretary
Collegians are Turning to Vegetables
Scientists to Have Ford's Ear
Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water
Hershey Bars Protest
County Officials to Talk Rubbish
Carter Plans Swell Deficit
Caribbean Islands Drift to Left
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Stud Tires Out
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops off Shelf
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Police suspect body in bin may have been dumped (thanks to O. Graham, Gosford, NSW)

[Frosty]

take_a_pop.... That's a few ?
aen't I glad I didnae ask you for a page full !
Well done for remembering them all
Cheers
Frosty

[take_a_pop]

Whit ? me remember awe thit loat, ye must be kiddin, a canna min'd ma wiy hame the noo.

[Frosty]

Take_a_pop wrote..Whit ? me remember awe thit loat, ye must be kiddin, a canna min'd ma wiy hame the noo.

Thanks for listing them , there are a few good ones too.
Is it old age that is drawing in or have you been having too many business lunches ?
Regards
Frosty

[dgraves]

My sides still hurt, Pop! That was great.