Carradale

[Sanyanya]

Indeed Sarid, I can well remember my mother cooking over the open fire and also making underwear for all of us from the flour sacks. The only difference was that my father took great delight in turning his knickers through 180 degrees, so that the Self Raising was front facing.

Mind you...................

[morenish]

My mother used to get her's at C&A

[Bochan Mor]

Aye Morenish, she obviously didn't know her erse from her elbow!

Have you tried some of the home baking down at the new tearoom at the Quay, almost as good as what you used to get at the Sawmill Hump!

I have to say that the view is much better as well, so no doubt it will be standing room only this summer!

[SARID]

Well Ah nivir! Ah nivir thought there wis anyboody still alive who wore the " Self raising " knickers. Recently Ah met anither local in th PO,an he pointed oot tae me there wirrna many o' oor vintage left.Tae try an cheer him up a wee bit, Ah pointed oot tae him that as long as we kept takin the pills prescribed by Snoddy, we'd be aroond for a good while yit

[LANDROVER ROGER]

Is chafing a problem?

[Right Pongal]

Tae try an cheer him up a wee bit, Ah pointed oot tae him that as long as we kept takin the pills prescribed by Snoddy, we'd be aroond for a good while yit

I wouldn't be too sure of that SARID, there's only so many 'Parrots Eat Them All' that your liver and kidneys will stand. I'm far from certain it is really such a wonderful cure all. They say Asprin is far more beneficial, but I think they cost a halfpenny more per dozen and when you consider the dozens of them consumed in this village, the saving is not inconsiderable. A handful of Jelly Beans would do much the same for your peers, as I'm afraid when they start to focus on their mortality in favour of their morality, the rot has set in. It'll be the gin next and then the 'Self Raising Knickers' again, but this time to hold in the incontinence pads!

Sanyanya is just jumping on the bandwagon with the Self Raising knickers. From what I remember, it was the self-releasing variety that his family specialised in, when they weren't 'Going Commando'. However, that helped keep the blue bottles away from the potted herring at the back of the tent.

Chaffing for finches was outlawed many moons ago Roger, indeed Sanyanya may have been the last man to be tried for contravening the local by-law. I'm sure the game-keeper had to liberate 20 score plus ten of the wee devils. You can just imagine the noise coming from under the canvas, never mind the smell. Ach well, it could have been worse, it could have been gannets........

[SARID]

Ah forgot tae say that Snoddy's pills are much more effective if washed doon wae a slug o'neat gin instead o' waater. Now Ah know this practice, in the long run, can haav a detrimental effect on the liver.but ye've had so many extra years o' enjoyable living, the state o' yir liver dussna metter

[morenish]

ach yer right there Sarid there's no point in buryin a perfectly good body!
yer as well to use it up afore the day!

no sure if these self raising knickers are a help or a hind rance though, dis old clam bags work jeest as well?

aye Bochan I was up at the greenroom for a cake, an found oot where it got it's name, by the time I walked up yon hill everythin was going green alright

good luck to the new slip at the quay but if it's no slips it's knickers they're talkin about in Carradale, can ye's no get yer mind of wummins clothes??
it wisny like this when I was a boy, maybe it's too much parrathetamol

[Bochan Mor]

Well Morenish, I can see that you practice what you preach. Your body won't take much more of this punishment, climbing up Ardcarrach brae and then stuffing yourself with scones and pancakes till your having to loosen your belt a scatter of notches. Is that right that the CHUGGERS are contemplating installing a funicular railway to lure the tourists back down the hill to sample the wonders of limpet pulling and whelk racing? What next? the Community Council will be asking the council to mark out cycle lanes to facilitate safe passage from 'The Hump' to moorings.

Pongal is in for a surprise when he goes for his free hurl in the buggies. He's not tweeged that it is limited to 15 minutes, so by the time he does his induction training and whirrs over to the other side of the village and down to the quay, he will have just about enough time to order his bowl of soup and crusty bread, before he has to set off back to The Hump. He'll be in that much of a panic heading back before the expiration of his allotted time, that he could easily end up on the beach with the tide lapping around his lead acid battery!

As for the clam bags, don't even consider it. The last man to try it ended up with a wild rash and a plaster of the sea side nippers!

[Right Pongal]

Damn the bit Bochan, there's no need for that Fun Hick Your Beer railway thingy. After applying for a grant from the Windferm trust, they just mounted an 'Auld Soul Rope' to the wall. Aye, that's 'Soul' and not 'Sole'! The pensioners and Morenish just clip a carabina hook onto the rope whilst travelling in both directions. The downward force of the well fed decenders aid the ascent of the starving climbers. Take it from somebody who has tried it, it works very well. Between the Green and the proposed new Slip, the harbour could once again become the focal point of the village.

Snoddy was up the other day and made a bee line for the Green Room's answer to a mechanical dishwasher. I wondered why they were passing all the dirty dishes into the broom cupboard, but it turns out that Morenish is tempted in to it first thing in the morning and fed to the point that he cannot get back out. The only alternative is to work up a sweat, to allow him to ease back between the sturdy pillars. I digress, so back to Snoddy. He was up to thank Morenish for attending the big funeral on his behalf. The Duchess of Dalintober had apparently taken very not well, to the extent that Snoddy didn't think she would last the night. He said the sweat was running out her and the whole bed was plashing. Turns out the Duchess had rolled over onto an old perished hot water bottle and on bursting, soaked her from head to toe. The fact she slept right through it made Snoddy think she was highly feavered. He even hurt his own back changing the sheets with herself still lying in state. Boy that's devotion for you!

[morenish]

ach maybe it was better when it was quiet........................

[Ags]

Sorry to "but in" on your chat folks.....I'm not sure if you have seen or read about our flamingo flocking fundraiser. We (Campbeltown Grammar School) are raising money for some senior students to volunteer in Gambia next year, painting and carrying out lots of work in a primary school in Kalagi. The birdies (our flamingos) are landing in a top secret location in Carradale this weekend. Being such a long flight for them from the "wee toon", I wondered would anybody like to rent a flock as a surprise for husband/wife/weans/grandweans on Sunday? It is £20 but £20 well spent for the smile factor these pink birds are spreading!! A wee PM on here or email me at agnes.stewart@argyll-bute.gov.uk for further info
Many thanks Check out our flocking flamingos at local news and issues

[Govangirl]

Lovely idea Ags! Is it possible I could pay for the burds to visit a chosen Carradale resident?

[Ags]

Lovely idea Ags! Is it possible I could pay for the burds to visit a chosen Carradale resident?

You sure can GG.......I wonder who that would be?

[morenish]

by Jove Ags, you certainly quietened the bochan there!
if I'd twigged £20 was all that was needed I'd have done it years ago!