Carradale

[Bochan Mor]

So the Broonie was from Largieside, I thought a Sept of that clan resided at Dalintober. No maybe that was the Broons of High St.

Maybe Magnus Barefoot dropped the Broonie off for badness as he circumnavigated Kintyre. I reckon that there must be a Norse connection with the Broonie, as I have heard of Broonie's Taing in Shetland, close to the village of Sandwick on the East side of the main Island.

Aye the Broonie there managed to get Europe to part with a large sum of money to build an extensive harbour with warehousing. These days it smells of mothballs and the occasional box of black fish. ......The rascals!

I think the origin of us Bochans is closer linked to the Celts. Perhaps they stowed-away and came up on the boats following a visit by the fleet to the Isle of Man. Mind you, there was a strong Hebridean connection with the nomadic Carradale fleet, so perhaps they picked up the original Bochans on their voyages of discovery. Maybe that’s why the people of South Uist were so welcoming, but damn glad to send the early crofters packing with more than a feed of fresh dug potatoes. The question has to be asked though, why did the Bochans not jump ship in Mallaig, or Bracadale. I suspect that they were maybe in league with the crofters.

It’s quite possible that there's a bit of the Bochan in all of the indigenous Carradale people. Big business, Government & educational institutes across Scotland have probably found themselves at the wrong end of the Crofter / Bochan mirth. Chaos abounds, and not even as much as a smirk.

Just think of the power these Bochans wield, such as influencing policy decisions in the Fisheries Department of the Scottish Executive. One notable Bochan has been shadowing a crofter who has had a hand in the installation of many of the mobile phone masts in the UK. The Bochan at his back is probably unplugging the generators as the helicopter takes off. Plenty more are educating the next generation of lowland Scots, furtively secreting the Bochan philosophy from East to West. Many a lecturer has found himself scratching his head at the antics of the student Crofters / Bochans.

Mind you, similar to the Broonie in Shetland, Bochans in the Western Isles have continually managed to milk the Western Isles Enterprise board (and HIDB before it) dry, by persuading them to heavily invest in White Elephants. The smell of mothballs is also heavy in the air on the far side of the Minch.

What we need are real entrepreneurs. I mind of hearing of one old man who was down to his last sixpence. He hammered and melted it into a soldering bolt and spent the summer going round all the doors of the hooses on Arran mending pots and pans. Boy these old folk would show you how to work

Before you ask, it wasn’t Jimmy Gulliver, founder of the Argyll Group. No, but a man of vision none the less, a born survivor.

You know what they say. Fact can sometimes be stranger than fiction!

[Thewetman]

well I guess that rules out that famous (step) son of Arran, Fat Jack McConnell unless ofcourse the pot was for cookin his tea. What aboot the other Arran sons

[Jock Strap]

You mean Union Jack McConnel....

[Thewetman]

Lets not go there, am sick to ma tonsils of the election already, but the Brochan has a point, Jimmy Gulliver an his ilk are sore missed, some say that the only Kintyre folk worth anythin have already taken off, and those that replace them have no care - more than their front gate or view. (not that I am the phantom fly-poster). Or worse still want to bleed whats left dry. What ever happened to the Argyll Group PLC?

[Malky]

Speakin o local folklore - Malky do you know anything of the lyrics to the renowned ballads once heard in the Tayinloan Inn crafted by the Millar’s o’ Auchnafad when we were young.

The one’s I remember bits of start

(to the tune of Westering Home)“Nae body need to depend on McBraynes, Western Ferries are crossin’ the mains………………….”

and the one aboot that laudable import from Skye, Callum Ski (to the tune of Mull to the Pentland Skerries)

“When the mist comes ower Largie and Callum canna see……………. You’ll never see a thinner man inside a dungaree, purrage his breakfast and purrage fur his tea…………..

I remember the one about Calum Ski but only the lines you've quoted. I suspect Duncan MacKinnon at Largie Cottages will remember the rest. Must ask

Nice to know another Largiesider is perusing this forum

[sonofaslant]

Sorry to crash the Largie party, but I think the first verse started:

"There was a Highland Shepherd his name was Callum Sgith (Gaelic for tired)
His mother came from Lewis and his father from Tiree"........ then the purrige stuff. Can't remember the mist ower Largie bit...

Anyone remember the guy from about Inverness who was working on the road? He tried to sing "On the Cold Drumossie Moor" every Friday in the pub at Tayinloan about 7pm before falling asleep at the counter in the middle of the first verse? Never got more than the first two lines out of him. Still don't know what it should sound like!

[Enough]

Removed by admin

[Thewetman]

Enough, I am sorry and apologise profusely, there’s no offence ment, my genuine question was meant to encourage discussion in the fate of the Argyll Group, James Gulliver operated – forgetting that you were to owner of that name, indeed you are bound to be the person to enlighten us. How did you come by the name?

[Admin3]

As you will see there is a new thread for the Argyll Plc question as the most popular thread on the board has went slightly off course!

Anyway, I want more Carradale yarns about Bochans and a' that!

[Bochan Mor]

The Bochans aren't too worried about ferries. Our ilk have been tunnelling for centuries. We have good links with both Arran and Ireland, and although its a bit of a trot these days, Blackwaterfoot still makes for a good day out in the summer and Antrim for a weekend trip. The Ayrshire crossing isn't complete yet, but were hoping that the Girvan Gremlins have really started from their end also. They're worse than the French over there. They'd try and pull goats wool over your eyes, and it so coorse!

Mind you, canaries are harder to come by since they closed the pits at Machrihanish. You'll definitely need one if the Bochan in front has been in the new curry house the previous night. Worse still, he might even have had a good feed of whelks and scrambled egg. (Hold onto the pin, it can be damn useful for deflating over-sized egos during the crossing)

[Admin3]

I believe the count is tonight..

Perhaps more posters will be seen soon?

[Bochan Mor]

The Bochans have done it again! They have managed to orchestrate a coup in the EKCC elections.

As you've all slept in your beds during the last few weeks, the Bochans have been whittling striplings of willow, hand picked from the edge of the Mains. They're thon way, you know, like small buds of fur just days away from bursting forth into foliage.

My Great Great Grandfather often tells me: 'If you keep something long enough, then it will come in useful.' Well you know how I mentioned before that we used to drink the condensed milk and Dunsade from the focsles of the ring net fleet. Well we finished the Dunsade, but kept some of the tinned milk and a wee drop of syrup, which was always in plentiful supply.

In fact, some of the boats carried more syrup than the Bakers and D. Campbell put together, they never missed it when we spirited it away. Most of us Bochans are like the perfect parasites, we only lift enough to get by, and not enough to arouse suspicion. Mind you many years ago, there was one Bochan who was getting greedy with the coal, and emptying bunkers as the crofters slept. That spoilt it for all of us, as many of the usual victims moved the coal into their sheds.

Anyway, back to the local election: Well do you know, it was great crack. The Bochans were creeping round the ballot boxes and poking the finely honed striplings in through the slots in the box. We'd dipped the furry ends into the condensed milk and syrup, and were able to haul out most of the papers and resubmit them, effectively reversing the vote. I bet you never even seen us! Well to be honest, I missed it. I was sleeping aboard one of the boats at the weekend, and damn me, it headed off round the Mull on Monday morning, with me still tucked up in the clam bags in the hold. Damn glad to get ashore at the West Loch at the end of the week. I'll need new shoes though, it was a hell of a trek back down the road.

Well you can imagine the surprised look on all the candidates’ faces when Argyll & Bute released the figures. Now the fun will really start, as we can start working on the new council.

We've been studying them for a while, and think we know their strengths & weaknesses. Its going to be colossal! Remember the Rev I M Jolly. Well were going to add some gin to the bottled water on the council table in a fortnight's time. Can you jeest imagine the scene. The local bobby will be poised like PC Plum, ready to pounce on them when they climb into their cars in the hall car park. Walking will then be the order of the day, with the new council being forced to encourage Argyll & Bute to set up new footpaths all over the village. Mark my words; the Spoot Wood and Airds Wood will be mono-blocked before this parliament is oot!

Where's the Goat been hiding? Has he had a hand in this as well?

Its time to recite another Bochan bed time poem: Repeat this 3 times to the wee yins once their under the duvets.

'I want ma sheet, ma winding sheet, cause am cauld, cauld, and canna sleep!'

Power to the droll folk, Bochan Power!!!

[Kintyre Lad]

Bochan Mor,

As they say in chewing the fat "You've taken that too far!"

So what were the results of the Elections?

PS - How did you manage to tamper with the Ballot Boxes when it was a postal vote!

KL

[Bochan Mor]

As the old Bochans would say: 'Ask a droll question, and you'll get a droll answer!'

The answer is in your question: The post boxes in the village were the ballot boxes.

Anyway, according to the Carradale Goat, the results are as follows:


Shelagh Galbraith 306 (Chairperson)
Lachie Paterson 285 (Vice Chair)
Geoff Page 214 (Secretary)
Stuart Irvine 202 (Treasurer)
Ronnie Brownie 191 (Planning & Licence)
Brian Gee 141
Johnny Durnan 123
Matt McMillan 80
Alen Oman 51

[GarySutherland]

The next EKCC meeting is next Thursday, 28 April 2005, in the community hall. Hopefully won't be too much disruption and folks will give the new council a chance to find their feet.

Regards
Gary