by Govangirl » Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:40 pm
Do You Think Bruce Springsteen Would Fancy Me?
By Pam Ayres
Do you think Bruce Springsteen would fancy me?
I know I’ve just turned forty-three,
And one eye’s gone at a funny angle
And I have to wear a copper bangle,
As I’ve got arthritis in this left knee,
But d’you think Bruce Springsteen would fancy me?
He might like an older bird,
Someone not of the common herd,
Old and inhibition free,
Well, he need look no further than me,
I’ve lost the looks that once I had,
But then perhaps his eyesight’s bad,
My skin’s quite good, and me teeth – fantastic!
Crafted from the finest plastic,
So next weekend at the NEC,
Do you think Bruce Springsteen would fancy me?
He might like to dance with me,
If I keep the weight off me gammy knee,
But there again, me kneecaps click,
Still, I needn’t take me walking stick.
No, I’d be like a magnet to him,
The sight of me would go straight through him,
One boss eye and me hair gone grey,
Singing ‘Born in the USA’.
Course, Bruce is used to admiration,
He’s idolised in every nation,
Cheered and clapped in every state,
Me? I’m clapped at half past eight.
Me husband says I must be mad,
And didn’t I know Bruce Springsteen had,
Teenage bimbos wall to wall,
Young and slim and brown and tall,
They can dance and stay up late,
Their knees don’t click and their eyes go straight,
He says Bruce wants rock and rhythm,
Not some old bird’s rheumatism.
But I don’t care, I know I’m right,
At the NEC next Friday night,
Though there might be thousands there,
Or eyes will meet in a thrilling stare,
I’ll do me slow, seductive grin,
I hope to God me teeth stay in,
And in that flash of recognition,
Bruce and I will have . . . ignition.
Draw the veil on he and I,
Alone against the starlit sky,
The billows pound upon the shore,
And me clicking knee will be heard . . . no more.
Blow away the dreams that tear you apart
Blow away the dreams that break your heart
Blow away the lies that leave you nothing but lost and brokenhearted